What to Do if You Feel Guilty About Eating Out

This article was written by Jen Connolly, Nutrition Coach & Student Nutritionist, and Maeve Hanan, Disordered Eating Specialist Dietitian and founder of Dietetically Speaking.

Many people who have a difficult relationship with food feel anxious and guilty abut eating out due to fears about eating ‘bad foods’ or too many calories etc. But being able to eat out and eat socially with others is an important part of a healthy relationship with food.

So here are 8 reminders to help you to reduce food guilt when it comes to eating out:

1. Food Is More Than Fuel

Food is an important part of social occasions, making memories and connecting with other people. Remember that you deserve to enjoy the experience!

2. No One Food Is ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’

This is an overly-simplistic and rigid way of viewing food that the inner food critic often clings to. But one food is simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’, as we get different nutrients and have different experiences with different foods so it’s far more complex and nuanced.

3. Eating Out Often Benefits Your Relationship With Food

Eating out can add flexibility, spontaneity, enjoyment, convenience and variety to your diet and eating experience. For some people it may also offer opportunities to conquer specific food fears, with guidance from your disordered eating support team.

4. You Deserve to Enjoy the Food You Eat

Try not to restrict yourself to what you think you ‘should’ order from the menu. Instead try to choose what you will truly enjoy and what will leave you feeling satisfied. Otherwise you may be left feeling unsatisfied and may keep thinking about the food you actually wanted which increases the risk of binging or feeling out of control with food later on.

5. You Get to Decide What & How Much You Want to Eat

You don’t have to eat what everyone else is having. And eating more than usual or eating past the point of comfortable fullness at times is perfectly normal. You get to decide if this feels right to you in that moment or not.

6. Do You Feel Grateful for Being Able to Eat Out?

This isn’t about forcing gratitude or making you feel worse or ungrateful. But see if any gratitude comes up when you think about the experience of eating out and related memories. It can also be nice to reflect on all the steps and people involved in your food ending up on your plate – from farmers, those who transported and sold the food, chefs, menu designers, restaurant staff etc.

7. You Can Reduce Triggers If Needed

If you’re in the earlier stages of disordered eating recovery, or really struggling with this, you can try to reduce triggers. For example you could ask for a menu without calories on it or get support from those you will be eating out with. If particular foods feel too scary or triggering, you could also stick with safer feeling options in the short term and gradually work on increasing your exposure to fear foods when eating out.

8. It’s Valid If Eating Out Doesn’t Always Feel Comfortable, But You Can Do Hard Things

Eating out can feel difficult for many reasons, for example:

• For those struggling with disordered eating,
• For those in larger bodies may worry about judgement and weight stigma
• For those struggling with social anxiety etc.

So let yourself feel your feelings and try to be compassionate with yourself if this is challenging for you.

Summary:

With the sea of diet culture we’re surrounded by, it’s understandable if you feel guilty or worried when it comes to eating out. But if eating out at times is accessible to you, this can be a very joyful part of the eating experience; and life in general. So save these reminders to use the next time you feel this food guilt and do your best to enjoy your meal.

If you want more information or support about finding food freedom, check out our resources and one to one services.